It is impossible, I simply can not forget the dreadful year 2017, particularly those days she was suffering. The doctor whom we trusted most not only bungled but also recommended a doctor who wrongly diagnosed and pumped in anti biotics for 40 days. The distant advice of Debashis and Tushi's internet analysis in support of Doctor's method of treatment deterred us from thinking differently. The question which is continuously haunting me is why I did not ask for 2nd opinion after 20 days of futile treatment.
When I am alone and that is for most period of the day, both pleasant memories and her days of suffering come in my mind. The day used to start with both doing puja together. Tutai's wife Papu told me she always loved to see us doing Puja together. While doing puja now I feel her absence. Today I cried to our deity 'why, why Thou have snatched her away from my life'.
We always enjoyed taking our 4 meals together. Now when I make afternoon tea for myself I remember those days when I used to make tea and arrange snacks for both of us. She was doing afternoon puja and whenever she blew the cronch, I used to comment ' Shyamer Bansi beje gyachhe' and that was the time for boiling water for tea. We were going out together to our friends' houses and when we returned it was mostly past 12, Snigdha used to comment 'watchman bhabchhe ei buroburi ato raat porjonto baire ki kore'. Friends used to visit our house. Nearly every weekend we used to meet friends either in their houses or ours. Now all these have stopped. No family likes to spend the evening in a house where the lady is no more.
Snigdha used to say 'we have enjoyed our life to the heart's content in Bombay. If we have to leave this world we should not regret. God has given us everything one desires to have.'
She was right, but so abruptly she left us, it is difficult for me to bear the agony and loneliness of my life.
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