Shejdi - by Mitu Mukherjee

When death does visit, it is abrupt yet final and it seems to dismiss the entire effort expended behind the build-up of a life as seemingly futile and wasted. A single irreversible moment seems to transform reality and all seems to be lost. The Polish Nobel Laureate, Wislawa Szymborska, in a poem on the fragility of existence wrote

“What a loss when you think how much effort was spent

Perfecting this petal , this pistil, this scent

For the one time appearance , which is all they’re allowed.”

The last line reiterates that “The world is but a stage………………………….” So are we here to play our parts and then to depart forever, lost in the tides of time ?

Does the concept of re-birth provide any consolation when we are told that an account of this life is carried on into the next? Then again the question of how many lives and to what end ?

No, even without going into the realm of the unknown surely a meaning to the loss can be found.

Shejdi, a favourite sister-in-law of mine left us recently at a time when her body refused to respond any further to the wishes and desires of her mind. She wanted to live, yet fate opined that her time was up. We, her family, friends and acquaintances are left to mourn and reminisce about moments shared with her in better times. Clearly she left indelible impressions on each of us with the feel of her soothing personality. Her caring and unassuming ways reached out and succeeded in putting people at ease.

She is survived by her husband, who will surely live in the glow of moving but loving memories, by her daughters, son-in –laws and grandsons, by the brothers and sisters who looked up to her not only through their childhood but as adults too. She brought up two accomplished daughters in the warmth of a sturdy marriage and was surely rewarded by the success that each in her own field of expertise has earned. So, has she not left herself behind ? Death has only succeeded in claiming her spent body. Her thoughts, her beliefs, her guidance and advice , all her past endeavours that provided the platform for her children to take off from, to seek the achievements leading to their successful lives today, all of these will live in them and will pass on to reach others.

I have only had the good opportunity of spending short periods of time with her on occasional visits made over the years. Yet I was afforded time enough to appreciate the warmth of her personality which always touched me and I loved to think of her as the elder sister I never had. The simplicity and straightforwardness of her thoughts, amidst the din of increasingly complicated human relationships, impressed me.

Shejdi, I found a good friend in you and I hope to cherish your memories through my association with your daughters. May your soul rest in peace.